C151 10/12/58
© Project Winsome Publishers, 2000

When the Spanish-American War lay like a lead weight upon the heart of President McKinley, word came that his mother, living in the family home at Canton, Ohio, was desperately ill. The pressures of war were so great, he felt he could not leave Washington, except under the most critical of circumstances. So he had a private telephone line installed from her bedside to the White House, so he could keep posted on her condition every minute of the night and day.

The Pennsylvania Railroad arranged for the Presidential car to be connected to its best engine and staffed by its best crew, ready to move on a moment's notice. At last word came, "She is getting worse. The President had better come." Immediately President McKinley sent back a message which was etched into the hearts of all Americans, "Tell Mother I'll be there!"

The railroad flashed the news that the President's train was on its way. All signals were opened and the track was cleared ahead. When the train arrived at Canton, a carriage was waiting at the station. The mayor had stopped all traffic on the streets. The two fastest horses in the city rushed the presidential carriage down the main street, off into a residential district, and up to the old family homestead. Leaping out of the carriage, the President rushed to his mother's bedside. As she embraced and kissed him she said, "I'd knew you'd come. I knew you'd come."

It's a beautiful story, isn't it? And, on a less spectacular, less glamorous level, it is one which has been repeated innumerable times, as sons and daughters have sought to be obedient to the commandment of God, "Honor thy father and thy mother."

Admittedly, this is not an easy commandment to keep. There are always tensions between parents and children, as in the natural and inevitable cycle of things, a youngster passes from childhood to adulthood. From immaturity to maturity. From dependence to independence. Until finally, the family attains that level of interdependence, where parents and children stand side by side "in honor preferring one another."

The relationship of parent and child is a constantly changing one. For the first ten or twelve years, the child thinks his parents know everything. During the next few years, he is equally sure, they know absolutely nothing. Later on he begins to see sign of hope, and to his utter amazement, his parents actually begin to show occasional flashes of real intelligence.

Finally, about the age of thirty, the now adult with children of his own, comes to the conclusion that whatever weaknesses his parents may have had, they were more than offset by their strengths. When all is said and done, they were just about perfect.

I'm as sure as I am standing here this morning, that there are guys and gals in this audience who are in the second stage. They have grave doubts about the wisdom of their parents. They're in what I call, "the bringing up father stage." With an attitude of sophisticated boredom and annoyed impatience, they hope somehow to exceed in the impossible task of teaching their folks the facts of life.

Well, I'm sure all parents can and do learn a few things from their children, and they are better parents for it. Even so, I'd like to say to you young people here this morning, if you hope to exceed in "bringing up" father or mother, you will do well to heed the fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother." Or to bring it more up to date a bit, "Put your parents in their proper place." Believe me, you cannot improve on the wisdom of God. For instance, you can put your parents in their place by --

Loving Them.
In that regard, it might be well to remember you are a product of love. It was love that drew your father and mother together. While still in their youth, they saw in each other the potential fulfillment in their dreams for a life partner. It was love that led them to the marriage altar, and it was a physical expression of that love, that caused you to be conceived in your mother's womb. When you were born, it was the sacrificial love of a young father and mother which caused them to lay aside personal comforts and desires, and sometimes even needs, so your comforts, desires and needs could be met.

You are a product of love! For no other reason than that, you should put your parents in their place by returning a little of the love they have so abundantly lavished on you.

I suppose I am a bit old-fashioned, but I think children should love their parents just because they are their parents. Those two people have done more for you than any other people on earth. You are under greater obligation and debt to them than you will ever be to any other human being. While there may be times when you find it difficult to love them because of some unlovable trait, word or deed, remember, it is no test of character to love only those it is easy to love. Your parents have proved that. They loved you in spite of your faults! You should do the same. You can also put your parents in their place by --

Respecting Them.
A moment ago, I said the relationship between you and your parents is a constant changing one. When you were a baby, you were completely helpless and had to be carried everywhere. Later, you learned to stand up and move about from chair to chair. Later still, you were able to toddle along with the help of mother or father's hand. Finally, you learned to walk alone.

In the same way the physical relationship between you and your parents is constantly changing, so, too, are the emotional and spiritual relationships. There comes a time, though few here have reached it, when you are capable of, and responsible for, making your own decisions regarding right and wrong. You have to choose for yourself the path you will follow. No one can make that choice for you. This is essential for your development as a person, and you will never become an adult if you remain forever subservient to your parents. You must step out on your own. But, while the time comes when every normal person reaches that level of maturity where he becomes personally responsible for his own actions and is no longer obliged to obey his parents, the day never comes when he is not duty-bound to honor his father and mother.

Think of what you owe your parents. You are indebted to them for the gift of life itself. Long before you knew they were your parents, your father and mother gave themselves to your protection. Your father bent his back and brain in an effort to meet your needs for shelter, food and clothing. Your mother worked long after weariness had passed, and only love and grit remained, often depending on sheer nervous energy to comfort and protect you, to meet your slightest whim.

Unless your parents are abnormal in the extreme, there has not been one moment in your lifetime when they have not loved you. For that reason alone, there is no cruelty like a haughty, arrogant and disrespectful child. As Shakespeare put it, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a thankless child."

Do you remember the story of Absalom? He was the son of David who rebelled against his father's love. He gathered together an army and waged war against his own dad. Yet, even so, David loved him. When news came that Absalom was dead, David gave vent to the agony of a broken heart as he cried, "Oh, Absalom, my son, my son. Would God I had died for thee. Oh, Absalom, my son, my son."

Thank God the Bible does not leave us with the story of Absalom. It also tells us about Joseph, and oh, how Jacob loved that boy! He made him a coat of many colors as an expression of his love. But, because of the jealousy of his brothers, Joseph was sold into bondage and lost to Jacob for many years.

However, in that strange way in which God works all things together for good, there came a time when Joseph rose to a place of power in Egypt. Hearing that his father was still alive, he sought him out, brought him to his palace and provided him with comfort and care during the waning years of his life.

Now tell me, young people, who would you rather be? Absalom, who broke his father's heart, or Joseph who did everything he could to bring joy and comfort to his father? I think I know! But, if you want to be like Joseph, you must "honor your father and mother." You must put them in their proper place by respecting them. Then, may I suggest you can put your parents in their place by --

Obeying Them.
Your parents are not infallible, but, for the most part, they know more about life than you do and you would do well to listen. I know the idea of obedience is a bit old-fashioned. It seems to cut straight across the contemporary idea of personal freedom and self-expression. But I think our freewheeling, undisciplined, "do as you please" society has about reached the end of its rope. We are ready now to rethink the wisdom of the fifth commandment which calls upon children to honor their parents.

A speaker at a teacher's convention put it this way,
"The trouble with our school system is that the teachers are afraid of the principal, the principal is afraid of the superintendent, the superintendent is afraid of the school board, the school board is afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children, and the children are afraid of no one!"

I think one psychologist accurately diagnosed the trouble with many of todays smart kids by saying, "They don't smart in the right place!"

Well, believe it or not, young people, the good Lord was thinking about your welfare and well-being when he ordained that discipline should begin at home. You see, this is a universe of law. We live in a society of law. The sooner you learn to abide by the law, the happier you will be.

The people inside your home may be lenient and understanding of your infractions of the law. Not so with the people outside of your home. They will expect a certain code and kind of conduct, and they will have no patience with you if you don't measure up.

You will be a happier person in later life if you learn to subject yourself to the authority of your parents now. In this way you will find it easier to transfer your recognition of authority to the authority of the school in which you are educated, the city in which you live, and the company for which you work.

Even though the yoke of restraint rides heavily upon your natural rebellion, thank God for parents who loved you enough to teach you to obey. In so doing, they are literally preparing you for a life of future happiness and peace in a world which will not tolerate disrespect for authority.

An Ideal for Parents
So much for the children. Let me turn now to you parents. To believe God only addressed this fifth commandment to children, is to simply see its outer husk. It is not only a standard for children. It is also an ideal for parents. For instance, this fifth commandment declares that parents can have their children's love if --

They Are Truly Loving Themselves.
It is true, as I have already stated, children should honor their parents for no other reason than that they are their parents. I think it is foolish though, for parents to expect honor on that basis. Parents should be prepared to earn it.

In other words, this is a two-way street. Parents have an equal responsibility, with their children, to see to it that the fifth commandment is the "law of the land" in their home. At the same time they are told to teach their children discipline, parents are told not to provoke their children to wrath. Walking the narrow lane between smothering possessiveness and superficial permissiveness is not an easy trek, but that is the task of all parents and it can only be fulfilled if it is attempted as an exercise of genuine love.

Back in Wisconsin, there is a farm boy who earned quite a reputation for himself by taking the blue ribbon at the County Fair with his calves, year after year. When asked how he happened to be so successful so often, he said, "Well, it's like this. You take Ma. She's crazy about roses. She plants 'em in the spring, prunes 'em in the summer and prays for 'em in the winter. I am somethin' like that with my calvin'. I just love 'em. When a good calf is about to be born, I'm as excited as an expectant Pa, and I'd go through any storm to bring back a lost calf."

Earthy language, perhaps, but that farm boy expressed one of the great laws of life. It doesn't matter whether it's roses or calves or kids, "ya got to love 'em if ya want to grow 'em."

I think loving our children means much more than providing their physical needs. It also means providing their spiritual needs. No parent truly loves her child unless she has an almost divine compulsion to nurture that child's soul, as well as her body. Yet, there are "scads" of parents "out there" who pray anxiously when their children's bodies are sick, who rarely, if ever, pray anxiously about their soul's salvation.

There are parents who wouldn't think of letting their children go without good food and clothing, who seem blissfully unconcerned about the absence of good spiritual nourishment and protection for their eternal soul. Their sense of values is all confused and they live by standards that are far too low.

Herschel Ford, pastor of the First Baptist Church of El Paso, Texas, tells of a young mother who sat by her window one day watching a mother bird build her nest on a branch which hung near the ground. As she watched the little mother work patiently and arduously, she said to herself, "My tiny friend, you're building too low." So, she went out and tore the nest down. But the bird insisted on coming back and building another in the same place. Soon there were several eggs in the nest and later there were several baby birds. Then one day, the mother heard a cry of distress from that mother bird, and looking out she saw that an old alley cat had found the nest and was devouring the little birds. The mother had built too low.

I am afraid some parents are often guilty of the same thing. They build upon standards and ideals which are too low. With much concern for their bodies, but little for their souls, they make their children easy prey for the onslaught of Satan and sin. Then, they wonder why their children's faith means so little to them in later life.

Oh, parents, build high! Build on Christ. Build on the cross. Build on prayer. Build on the Bible. Build on the church. Build high! Doing so, your children will love you because you so earnestly and wisely love them. Parents can also have the respect of their children if --

They Are Respectable Themselves.
No child ever doubts its parents until it has reason to. Nothing is more certain than the fact that if parents want to be honored, they must be honorable.

John Sutherland Bonell of the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church in New York City, has said that no one can build on a card table, a can opener and a cocktail shaker. Irresponsible or delinquent parents are the chief cause of juvenile delinquency. Children are a reflection of their parents. It may not seem like they are paying much attention to you. In fact, one frustrated parent put it this way, "If you don't want your child to hear what you are saying, pretend you are talking to him." Believe it or not, the old adage is true, "Little pitchers have big ears."

Your children know all about you. They see and hear more than you give them credit for. They are the first to notice when what you say with your lips does not agree with what you do with your life. One mother was trying to teach her daughter the sin of telling lies. She said, "Do you know what happens to little girls who tell lies?" The child said, "Sure, they grow up and tell their little girls they will get curly hair if they eat spinach!"

Well, we can smile, but here was a child who could see that her mother was not practicing what she preached. Little wonder she had no respect for the truth. If you want to be honored parents, you must be honorable.

A father and his little daughter were discussing the Sunday School lesson from which she had just come. Apparently the teacher had asked the class where they wanted to go when they died. Some of the children said they wanted to go where the angels were. Some said where Jesus was. Others said to heaven. The father took his little daughter up into his arms and asked, "And what did you say?" The little girl responded, "I told my teacher I want to go where my daddy goes." If you want to be honored parents, you must be honorable. Finally, a parent will be better able to expect obedience if --

He Is Obedient Himself.
An old country preacher put it this way, "You can no more give children what you ain't got, than you can come back from where you ain't been." This fifth commandment is a two-edged sword. It demands that parents teach discipline, and it also demands that they be disciplined.

This places a grave responsibility upon us, but remember, our children did not ask to be born. They are the result of our love and desire. If we were selfish enough to bring them into this world, we must be selfless enough to do everything within our power to make sure they are prepared for the world to come. This means getting right with Christ and being sure of our own salvation. Only then can we pass it on to them.

In that regard, I think it would be well for us to remember, Jesus' story of the "ninety and nine."
'Twas a sheep, not a lamb, that strayed away
In the parable Jesus told.
A grown-up sheep that had gone astray
From the ninety and nine in the fold.

Out on the hillside, out in the cold,
'Twas a sheep the good shepherd sought.
And back to the flock, safe in the fold,
'Twas a sheep the good shepherd brought.

And why for the sheep should we earnestly long,
And so earnestly hope and pray?
Because there's danger, if they go wrong,
They will lead the lambs astray.

The lambs will follow the sheep, you know,
Wherever the sheep may stray.
When the sheep go wrong, it will not be long
'Till the lambs are as wrong as they.

And so with the sheep, we earnestly plead
For the sake of the lambs today.
If the lambs are lost, what a terrible cost
Some sheep will have to pay.