C188 7/26/59
© Project Winsome International, 2000

GOD'S CURE FOR LONELINESS
Dr. John Allan Lavender
Psm.139:1-12, 17-18

One of the most poignant passages in all of literature is to be found in that thrilling old classic, Robinson Crusoe. Cast away on a desert island Crusoe goes through his daily ritual of climbing to a look-out point where he has rigged a make-shift distress signal from a piece of sail. Standing there he scans the horizon, hands shading his eyes, searching for the sight of a ship somewhere out there on the lonely sea.

Few figures in fiction have so captured the imagination of people as Robinson Crusoe. For standing there in his tatters, skin-bronzed, hair long and unkept, the beach grass waving at his feet, he is a forlorn figure, abandoned and alone. He longs for the touch of a human hand. The sound of a human voice. The friendly light of a human smile. But there is none.

Then, on that fateful Friday afternoon, his solitary vigil once again unrewarded, he turns to go back, to his lonely shack, when he stops short. There in the sand is the footprint of a human other than his own. And, in a wild and wonderful moment of exhilaration, Robinson Crusoe comes to realize that he is not alone.

Our story may be somewhat less dramatic, but I don't know of anyone who isn't bothered by a bit of loneliness by some time or another. All of us are likely to find ourselves feeling like castaways, from time to time. For, while God made us in such a way that there are times when we need to be alone, he also made us in such a fashion that we also need companionship. When we are without it, all of us, regardless of our age or walk of life, are not immune to loneliness.

Several years ago a very significant book was published entitled The Lonely Crowd. It focused on the terrific loneliness that's at the heart of great centers of population. Many of us can testify to the fact that we have never felt more alone than when we stood in the midst of a milling multitude on Broadway in New York City, or the Champs Elysees in Paris, or Queens Street in Edinborough, or Michigan Avenue in Chicago, or Market Street in San Francisco. Loneliness is a familiar and bitter emotion to all of us, and no one regardless of his or her age or walk of life, seems to be immune.

Here is a woman, and her name is Legion in our land. Her hair, once flaxen is now touched with silver. For many years she sacrificed and scrimped and saved so, when her husband retired, they could live out their golden years in relative comfort. There were so many things they were going to do someday. And then, with shattering suddenness, he is gone. She is alone. And the years which, from a distance, had seem to be made of gold, turn out to be made of clay.

Here is a child who doesn't understand the tensions that exist between his parents. He only knows that things are not right. He thinks that maybe he is the cause, because so often the criticism of him by his parents seems so unwarranted, and out of proportion to the things he has done. He can't explain it. He only knows he feels unwanted, and this loneliness scratches emotional scars upon him which remain the rest of his life.

Here is a young woman, at least judging from what she tells me over the phone, who says,
"I have been in your church, but you do not know me. My husband and I are
not happy. Oh, he pays the bills. He gives me just about anything I want,
except love. He never pays any attention to me anymore, and I am so lonely.

"The other day, quite by accident, I met a man who made me feel like a woman once again. For the first time in years I feel wanted and needed. Since my husband doesn't notice me, wouldn't I be justified, even though I am married, in going out with this man who will give me the love I need? I am so lonesome!"

Here is an older man who, for years had led an active, creative life, and then physical disability strikes. The horizons of his world are suddenly reduced to the four walls of his home. Visitors rarely come. The mailman rarely stops at his door. The telephone, if there is one, rarely rings. And so he lives out his waning years in a kind of tragic admixture of pain and loneliness.

Here is a beautiful teenager. She could easily be the queen of any high school prom. She attended a youth rally where I was preaching and, a few days later, a letter arrives in which she says, "Tonight you talked about kids who could control their passions, only to discover
their passions where controlling them. It was as if you were talking to me.
When we moved here a few years ago, I was so terribly lonesome for my old
friends back home. I didn't know anybody and the first kids I met were not
exactly the right kind.

"I have never done anything wrong before, but one night after a boy had given
me a couple of beers, it happened. I knew that if my parents ever found out it
would break their hearts. And so, I promised myself it would never happen again.
But it did. Now I can't seem to stop. I guess I have a bad reputation and nice boys
won't take me out. I want to stop. God knows how much I want to stop. But
I'm so afraid of being alone again."

Many young people have compromised their ideals, not because they wanted to be bad, but because they were alone, wanted friends, and forgot you never find the right kind of friends in the wrong way.

Jesus knew all about the agony and anguish of loneliness. Time and again he was misunderstood. Even the members of his own family forsook him and, on at least one occasion, publicly declared that they thought he was mad.

Many people who would have made him King eventually melted away and he was left with a handful of believers, and one of them betrayed him. Finally, he was left alone to bear the cross and endure that awful moment that it seemed even God himself had deserted him. Yes, Jesus knew all about loneliness.

I wonder if that isn't why, that Jesus sent his disciples out to win the world, he took pains to reassure them with these words,
"Lo, I will be with you . . . always."

David, who wrote so many of the Psalms, knew all about loneliness, too. Again and again as we finger through the pages of his poetry we come upon the language of loneliness and the expressions of an aching heart. But, in the passage which is our text this morning, we find him shifting emotional and spiritual gears, as he shares some thoughts about how he learned to deal with loneliness, and how you can, too.

It seems to me there are three things David has to say this morning which can help you in your moments of loneliness, and one of them is this --


God Knows You
"Thou hast searched me and known me," he writes. "Thou understandest my
thoughts afar off . . . and art acquainted with all my ways . . . " (Psm 139:1-3).

Have you ever had the feeling that, because the world is so vast and you are so small, God could not possibly even be conscious, let alone concerned about you? If so, then listen to these inspired words --
"Thou hast known me, and art acquainted with all my ways."

You see, everything connected with your whole being and your whole life is an open book to God. Your strengths and your weaknesses. Your victories and your failures. Your thoughts and your fears. Your holy aspirations and your sometimes not so holy hungers. Everything! Your needs. Your wants. Your aims. Your longings. Your dreams. Your fears. All are included in his perfect knowledge of you -- and me!

But the mere fact that God knows us is not altogether comforting, for sometimes we fear that he knows too much, and that makes us uneasy. Maybe that is why David went on to explain that God not only knows you --

God Loves You
"Thou hast . . . laid thine hand upon me . . .such knowledge is too wonderful . . . it is too high, I cannot comprehend it" (Psm. 139:50).

What David is saying to you, this morning, is that the reason God loves you is because God knows you. He not only knows what you have done, he knows why you have done it. He not only knows where you are, but how you got there. He not only knows where you're going, but what path you are going to take. Your past, your present, your future are an open book to God, and because he knows you, he understands you. And because he understands you, he loves you.

The other day I talked with a fellow who has been something of a prodigal. God has endowed him with a marvelous body and brain which he wasted in riotous living. He was like a tree which had been scorched and seared by an angry forest fire and now stood gaunt against the sky, the vigor and vitality of life burned out of it, so all that remains is a charred fragment of what it once had been. And yet, as I talked with this fellow, there were moments when the magnificent potential within him flashed through, and I could see a vision of what he yet could be by the grace of God.

In the course of our conversation, I said, "You know, friend, there's hope for you yet!" He drew himself up slowly until he stood as straight as a ramrod and, as he looked me in the eye, he said, "Doc, do you really mean that? Do you really mean that after all that I have done, God still loves me? Do you really mean that he can forgive a guy who has so utterly failed him?"
He didn't understand God's love, did he? And I wonder if you do?

We have all asked those questions at times. Whether or not we have engaged in the overt sins of the flesh, we have still been guilty of evil thoughts and desires. We have still put ourselves ahead of God and have lived our lives as if he did not exist. And, we have wondered if God can forgive. If God could really love us. Oh, my friend, if you have had such thoughts, please listen!
"God's love no end nor measure knows
No change can change its course
Eternally the same it flows
From one eternal source!

There is no pool so stagnant
So reeking with rottenness,
So clogged with mire,
That the sun refuses to shine on it.

And, there is no man or woman
So far from heaven and so near to hell
That God's love does not seek to save.

Oh, how many things he will forget,
Our every sin, both great and small, and yet
He will remember and reward
The smallest service done for our dear Lord.

Divine forgetfulness, unfathomed grace
And love that knows no bounds of time or space."

God knows you and because he knows you, he understands and loves you. That's why he has promised to never leave you nor forsake you! David goes on to say --

God Is With You
"Whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand hold me" (Psm.139:7,9-10).

A moment ago I said that God has made us in such a way that there are times when we need to be alone. Sheer self-preservation demands that, at times, we must pull down the blinds and shut everyone else out. Jesus knew that and so he said,
"When you pray, go into your closet and shut the door; and when you have
shut the door, pray to your Father who is in secret and your Father who sees
in secret shall reward you openly"(Mt.6:6).

He knew there are times that we need to be alone. And, he also knew that it is in those times when we are alone that we are most open to the sound of that still, small voice which whispers,
"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. . .Be still and know that I am God."

Somewhere I read the story of a woman who slipped into a church one day. She was the only one there for awhile, and then a well-dressed man came in. He walked up into the front of the church, knelt and put his hands on the altar rail while he bowed his head in prayer. When he had finished, he walked out holding his hands in front of him as if he were afraid to let them touch anything after having consecrated them at the altar.

The next morning she opened her newspaper to find his picture on the front page with an article explaining how this world-famous surgeon had performed an operation the previous afternoon which had never been performed before. And, in her heart of hearts, she knew the success he enjoyed began at that altar where he knelt to pray.

Yes, there are times when we need to be alone. And it is in those times when, if we let him, God comes so close we can hear his heart beat. It is then that we find him to be "a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." And, what David is reminding you this morning is this, there is nowhere you can go that God isn't. Whether it be heaven, or sheol, or in the darkness of the night, or the brightness of the day, God is there! And not just there, but there with you.

You see, David does not rest his understanding of "God's Cure For Loneliness" upon the "everywhereness" of God. Again, that can be a rather cold and frightening thought. Instead, David bases his hope, and yours upon the fact that God is with him personally everywhere he goes. He lifts "the everywhereness" of God to a newer, higher and richer plain. He translates it into a thrilling consciousness that God is with him, everywhere, and at all times.
"Whither shall I flee from thy presence?
North. South. East. West.
Behold, thou art there.
And because thou art there,
I will fear no evil."

I will never forget a story told by Dr. Shields Hardin, a minister friend of mine. They had just moved to Olean, New York, where they had purchased a new house in a new development. The street lights had not yet been installed, and at night it was very dark. They had trained their little boy to take the milk bottles out to the porch each night.

The first night in the new house, he went to the door and came back into the room, still holding the empty milk bottles. Dr. Hardin said, "Why don't you take the empty bottles out and put them on the porch?" His little boy looked up at him and said, "Daddy, it's just too dark to go out there without a father." He was right! There were no street lights. There was no moon. There wasn't a star in the sky. It was pitch black. So, Shield Hardin walked out onto the porch, and when he got out there, the boy didn't even think about the darkness. He came running out, talking and laughing and put the milk bottles in their place.

Sometimes we, too, are called upon to face things too fearful and foreboding to be faced without our Father. We are asked to step out onto the porch of a dark and uncertain future. The cold winds of loneliness begin to howl around us. But it is then, if we'll just listen, we will hear that still small voice say, "I will never leave you nor forsake you, for lo, I am with you, always."

God's cure for loneliness.
"I know you! I love you! I am with you!"