Humor from the Expository Teachings
HH 01
A plane was on an overseas flight. About halfway through the journey, somewhere out over the ocean, the pilot flicked on the intercom and said, "Folks, I have some good news and some bad news for you. First, the bad news. Our entire navigational system has gone out and we don’t have the slightest idea where we are. Now, for the good news. We’ve had a tail wind and are ahead of schedule!"
From "Our Hope: Jesus Sees it All"
***
After ending a sermon one Sunday on the happy note, "Good or bad, Jesus loves me," Monday morning I was talking to a worshiper who said, "I sure wish I could get my spouse to love that way." There was a wistfulness in the way this person described the conditional nature of so much of our human love. If someone is good -- makes us proud or happy -- we love him or her. But, if he (she) doesn’t, look out!
A woman had been a real chore to live with. When her husband died, he left the bulk of his estate to other members of the family. Enraged, she went to the monument maker to have the words changed on his tombstone. "I’m sorry," the workman said, "You ordered ‘Rest in Peace’ and it can’t be changed." "Well, then," said the woman, "add, ‘till we meet again’!" Let’s face it; many of our relationships are like that. Love on condition. But Jesus is different. That’s what gives us hope. There’s a man in heaven. A complete man. A true man. A man unencumbered by the residual effects of centuries of sin on human nature. His love is unconditional. Having been "tempted . . . as we are" (4:15). He is able to identify with us when we are tempted.
From "Our Hope: Jesus, the Bridge over Troubled Water"
***
A little boy who had been listening to the sad state of world affairs as reported on the evening newscast, went to bed and in his nighty-night prayer was heard to say, "Dear God, take care of Mommy and Daddy. And my little sister. And Grandma. And please, dear God, be sure to take care of Yourself, 'cause if anything happens to You, were sunk!"
From "Our Hope: Jesus Completes A New Contract"
***
It was Christmas. The toy department in the big city store was clogged with parents and kids. One little boy was creating a problem for everyone, particularly his mother. He would climb on a trike or wagon and charge down the aisle, bumping into other people. His mother, who had completely lost control of him, trotted alongside saying, "Now, darling, don’t do that. Come along now. It’s time for us to leave." The youngster paid no heed.
The department head became sufficiently frustrated, went over and said, "Madam, it appears you are having a bit of trouble with your boy. We have a child psychologist on our staff. Would you mind if I invited him to come over and offer some help?" The harried woman replied, "Anything, sir, anything!" The child psychologist was called. "I want my boy to go home, but he won’t leave," the mother explained. The man thought a moment, then said, "I believe I can help." He approached the boy, who was about to get into a kiddie car, leaned over and whispered something in the youngster’s ear. The kid looked startled, ran to his mother, grabbed her hand and said, "Come on, Mom, let’s go." In amazement she said, "Stay right here for a moment. I’ve got to talk to that man." "Sir," she asked, "what on earth did you say to my boy? I’ve been trying to get him to leave for an hour. I’ve begged, cajoled, bribed, without success. You come down, whisper a few words in his ear, and he’s ready to leave. What on earth did you say to him?" "Why, Madam, it’s very simple," the child psychologist explained, "I just leaned over and said, ‘Listen here, you little brat, if you don’t get out of here, I’m going to set your britches on fire!’
This homey anecdote illustrates a grave truth about our time. In our eagerness for freedom and spontaneity, we have forgotten that discipline is indispensable to proper development. We are suffering from an anemic, saccharin-pale concept of love, when, in fact, love is anything but an easy sentiment.
At the core of tough love is the awareness that there is no strength of character or achievement without discipline. Nothing worthwhile is ever achieved without struggle, pain and sacrifice. Everything we have of value is cradled in a discipline that hurts. And, despite our sophistication, we never seem to outgrow the need for such discipline. As someone wisely observed, "Every man is as lazy as he dares to be."
Tough love is hard for most of us. We’re too insecure. Too immature. We want and need to be loved too much. Fortunately for us, God is neither insecure nor immature. Among many things, He is security with a capital "S." Maturity with a capital "M." While He wants our love and has gone to great lengths to gain it, look at Calvary, God is unwilling to pay too great a price for our love. Whenever necessary, whether we like it or not, He chastens us.
From "Our Hope: Jesus Endorses Discipline"
***